Here’s the truth:
1- I’m totally in a FUNK.
2- I am ready to run for the hills. Leave my three children here, with the dog, and a pantry full of food, and just….. hell I don’t know, run away to anywhere… anywhere that’s not here.
3- I need to mow the grass. I find socks, no they don’t match but what ever, I put on lawn mowing shoes, after tracking down the other one that that dog has carried to some far off corner of the house that I NEVER go to ( Remember THIS post, re-read no 12) I make my way to the shed out back, dodging piles from aforementioned dog, pull the mower out, push the primer 3x, push then pull the mower. Nada. Repeat, primer, push then pull; because if you are me, the only way to get the mower started is to push it giving me a little momentum to get the damn thing started. SO, push then pull…NADA. OOOOkkkkk, let’s check, gas.. Nope. Bone dry. Oh that’s right, I ran the mower out of gas last week. So I glance over at the three, yes I said three gas cans. 1- empty…. 2- empty….3- c’mon lucky number three- empty. Sonofa.. really. No, REALLY? Then I see it. I can almost here the “ahhhhhhhhhh” sound coming from it, a fourth one. Dear God, please let there be gas in it. Nope. Guess what, lawn didn’t get mowed.
Can you find the fourth?
4- S0, when ever the little gets hungry, he asks me for a snack, at which time I say sure. Here’s the truth, the kid eats whenever. It’s just one of those battles I don’t care to fight. Food and clothes. He eat’s breakfast. He eats lunch. He kinda eats dinner, but he does snack at least three times a day. So when the question comes up, can I have a snack I say yes and without fail he say’s, ” Look in the closet”. Here’s where the guessing game begins, I end up saying……” Do you want Cheetos’s- na- do you want crackers-nope- do you want chex mix- no thank you. Then I move the fridge, ” Do you want string cheese- no- do you want rectangle cheese- naa- do you want an apple- ummm I don’t think so- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I give up Luke, when you tell me what you want, I’ll get it.
5-Let’s talk about the big, sleeps in til 11:00, get’s up, stumbles downstairs in his robe walks straight to the fridge, looks in there, mumbles there’s nothing to eat. Oh really. Hey jerkface, and yes, I can call him a jerkface because he is my kid. Remember when I yelled down the basement stairs, “I’m going to the store, are you coming?” and you said “no” . Guess what. You may now be quiet about the food in the house. I told him if you want to play 7v7 lacrosse, I need you to pull some weeds for me. At which point he mumbles about not wanting to pull weed’s and how it’s not fair and more I’m sure because I just walked away the second the mumbling started to save his life, and my sanity.
6- The middle took a semi digger on her bike, at which point she comes home wraps her ankle in an ace bandage, then goes down stairs gets the crutches and proceeds to crutch around the house. Then she turns to me and says, did you sign me up for 7v7 lacrosse? Ummm really? As you crutch from the living room to the fridge, did I sign you up to play lacrosse? Did I pay 70 bucks for you to run up and down a field while you can’t make it to the bathroom with out crutches? Yeah, ummm ahhhh.. nope, sure didn’t. But I will if you stop with the “injury”?
7- Who’s bright idea was it for me to have a teenager, a tweenager, and a three year old ALL at the same time?
8- The little just asked me if I was done with my frog yet? yeah. no, I’m still working on my BLOG.
9- Did I mention that last week the bank called me at 0 dark thirty to ask me if I was in Ann-arbor MI? Apparently my debit card was, and it was making a large purchase at Wal-Mart. So I still have NO debit card. You can’t imagine all the places that don’t take Amex, and that is the only other card I have…. So freaking annoyed. So, I guess I can’t run away yet, at least not until my new debit card gets here.
10- So last night while I was hiding in the backyard, drinking a beer, listening to pandora, grilling some pork chops, it hits me, I should be thankful because at the end of the day… my husband comes home. He may be cranky and tired. And lately, really sweaty since he’s been riding his bike to and from work. But he comes home. My sisters doesn’t.
11- Need a little something to make you thankful? Read THIS, and then go vote for her blog. Maybe even read some of the other ladies blogs…
12- This weekend- THIS!!!!!!!!OH YEAH! Just what the Dr. ordered.