Here’s the truth:
1- I am kinda slowly getting out of the funk, but it is still pretty prevalent in my life. I mean right now it’s like this big comedy of errors. First the husbands truck breaks down, then mine, and I went to fire up the lawn mower it doesn’t work, suddenly when I find time to wash whites when no one needs to shower and I can use all the hot water I discover we are, out of bleach? Seriously, who runs out of bleach? Ugh, I mean, come on now, either I have a super short fuse or people just know that I am in the funk and they do things like-
a- I’m at Wal-mart and I am backing my truck out of my space. Well right behind me is another bigger truck so I am going to have to actually do, kinda like, a three point back up turn. So as I am doing this, backing up- and my back up sensor is screaming at me that I am dangerously close to the truck behind me, and I have my head turned all the way around inching, inching, inching closer to the truck behind me when the young lady in the spot next to me proceeds to throw her car in reverse and back straight into my front bumper. When I whip my head around to see what just rocked my truck I see her, roll her window down, look at me in her side mirror and say… are you ready for this…” Hurry the fuck up”. No really, that is what she says to me. Mind you this is happening to me the day after a group of children level me to tears at Chic-Fil-A. So I’m staring at her, aghast, that 1- she just backed up into me 2- she just swore at me and 3- she is now YELLING at me to, yup you guessed it, hurry the fuck up. Lucky for her the cart guy and a passer-by asked her to watch her mouth.
b- when I pick my kids up from school, it happens to be right about the time that kids from one school walk to the other school for track practice. Please know that we have NO bussing system, so there are A LOT of parents driving around trying to get their kids; in a one mile radius that houses 2 elementary schools, the only Jr. High and the only High School. So when I say A LOT I mean A LOT. Go ahead and factor in too all the highschoolers that drive and really if you can avoid the area you should. For your sanity. Anyway, so I typically have to turn across on coming traffic where there is a crossing guard. God love her. She has a crazy job, I get it, and I thank her for keeping those kids safe, but on the same hand, I am not sure she understands the extreme ramification of standing, in the street, holding up her STOP sign, for kids that are more than a block a way. And really let’s just call it like it is, they aren’t walking, they are sauntering towards her. Not in a hurry to get anywhere. So while she is standing there, cars start to back up the hill and the line get’s longer and longer and really lady????? The kids can wait 5 seconds once they get to the corner. GET OUT OF THE STREET because while you were standing there sign up, no kids crossing, the light at the bottom of the hill FINALLY turned red, which is my only opportunity to actually turn across that traffic. Note to self, find new route home.
c- So I promised the little a new leapster game and an ice-cream if we could go watch the first varsity lax playoff game. Leave the house, one hour ’til face-off, plenty of time. We find our game, we stroll to the front of the store and there are a lot of people in the self check out line, and really, I try to avoid those when I have electronics because I always seem to fail to put it on the thingy that removes the thingy that won’t make me set off the thingy at the front door. You know what I mean, right? So, we head on over to the 20 items or less line, and right as we are about to step into line a lady pulls up in front of us. Cart FULL, over flowing even. I am thinking to myself she really just wants some of the beef jerky and then she is going to the correct line. Or maybe that People, but she’s not really going to start… ARE YOU KIDDING ME. She starts unloading her cart, and not just unloading her cart, but selectively unloading. Like rummaging around for only the frozen and cold items. She gets those up there on the conveyer belt, walks her “cold” item bags to the checker and smiles at me. I smile back. I think. A person gets in line behind me. Then he leaves after “mumbling 20 items my butt.” I look to the self check out, I contemplate it. Then I think, no… I am trying to be more patient. I look up, and she is now placing all the boxed items on the belt. Only items in boxes, but wait, she has to go talk to the checker because he may have put a COLD item in with the FROZEN items. She has two cold bags, one for cold, one for frozen. Deep breath. Really just to end this awful story. 21 minutes later,$218.00 dollars later, two different methods of payment for the $218.00 later, a four people deep line now, with 3 people exiting the line and going elsewhere to pay, she walked away and smiled at me, I smiled back. I think. Trying to be nicer. We then paid for our 2 items and left. The little say’s to me, “whew that took FOREVER”.
d- because despite my funk there is this:
I keep whispering this to myself…
2- I want to plant flowers. But I’m terrified it is going to get cold again and then I will have wasted my money on frozen dead flowers.
3- THIS is awesome. I want to read his book now.
4- I can’t believe school is going to be out in a few weeks. No really. Where has this year gone?
5-I need a lawn mower doctor. One that will come to my house. Anyone know one? Seriously…
6-This is what I get from the big when I ask him to smile. Ugh.
7- So here’s the question… New blog for the new senior photography business?
8-I am in desperate need of a girls night out. Who’s with me? Who’s breaking the news to my husband? Ha!
10- This weekend. Happy Mother’s Day. Oh and it’s my anniversary.