Here’s the truth:
1- So umm yeah, it’s hailing here again. Really? Hail in June? Over it.
2- I was thinking after I sent out my flyers that I would have seniors like, knocking my door down. I don’t.
3- Can I bitch for a second about something that just, irks me… the “fake Facebook”. I am so tired of it. You know the posts that reads- my husband is the greatest man alive because he…. fill in the blank. I mean, I’m not opposed to loving your husband, I am not opposed to telling the world you love your husband, I am oppose to time and time again with the ” my kids are so smart because, my husband is awesome because, wait, here’s my selfie but I will pretend like I don’t LOVE the picture so you can tell me how awesome I am” All that and more drives me crazy because I know, in the real world, you know your kids have issues, hell who’s doesn’t, your husband drives you crazy sometimes. Seriously people, sometimes it’s ok to call it like it is with a post that says- “today, if my husband doesn’t leave the house with our children I may run away, with out packing a bag, surviving off only the the fruit snacks under the backseat in the car, and wearing the three sweatshirts I threw in there in case of rain a month ago.” Ahhhh- I feel better.
4- If you haven’t read the 70’s summer blog post that has been ALL OVER Facebook… find it, read it, know I am the mother that doesn’t even have a pinterest board for summer fun. Nope, that’s right I don’t have a pinterest board for crafts, or scavenger hunts, or awesome kid science projects. I know, I’m lame- but my kids are busy and happy all the same.
5- THIS made me bawl. Like a baby. I then sent it to my friend at work, thus making her bawl like a baby, wonder if she’s still my friend?
6- I. CAN’T. GET. ENOUGH.OF.THIS-homemade pico. love.it. and to think, I used to loathe tomatoes?
7- So the big is growing out his hair. Not sure how I feel about it. If he’d EVER let me photograph him then I could show you. Today he discovered that Tom Cruise is not very tall, yet he is wildly successful… for some odd reason that gave him a little glimmer of hope. Although I think the big is already taller than Tom Cruise.. but the middle is almost as tall as him. Ha.
8- The little is taking swimming lessons. Have I mentioned that the little.still.does.not.poop. No really. He still refuses to poop. And before you get concerned, yes his ped knows, and his GI doc, and soon a psychiatrist i suppose. The point here is, he still has to wear a little swimmer… and I have to explain to a 17 year old girl the situation. And she’s staring at me, wide eyed, and I am trying to assure her not to worry. In the 30 minutes she is going to spend with him the probability of him needing to jump out of the pool to “hold the poop” in minimal, but I wanted her to be aware of the situation, and at that point I was just hoping a gaping hole would open up, right there at the pool and swallow me. Dear little, for the LOVE, please poop.
9-So we’ve been dog sitting, the best, most awesome,snuggle-iest, dog ever. However he is a lap dog, and since well my dog is a 80 pound lab, I am totally caught off guard by a little dog suddenly in my lap, even while I type this.
10- I’ll leave you with this. My husband, has the oddest hankering for- wait for it- a motor home, but not a new, beautiful, state of the art, flat screen having, real shower boasting motorhome. No… he wants…..this-
you know what I hear when I see this…..”clark, shitter’s full.” Save me.